11 things the nation really wants to know
There are a lot of questions which has perplexed quite a few of us but answers have never been available. Tonight we seek answers because the hmmm.. what was it ? Yes. THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW
1) Where do we get free alcohol during elections?
Elections are around the corner and we have always heard votes are bought by alcohol. A lot of us have never been beneficiaries of this gesture. We demand answers.
2) What happened to those couples who expressed their love in public walls and monuments?
Don’t our hearts melt at such romantic gestures? Don’t we want to know more about them? Are they living happily ever after or did this cruel world not allow these lovebirds their wishes??
3) Who was the guy who wrote this on Amitabh Bachan’s hand?
Shashi Kapoor had a hard time convincing Amitabh to mend his ways because he couldn’t find the guy who wrote this on Amitabh’s hand. The nation wants to know how he feels after committing this lamest heinous crime ever.
4) Is Uday Chopra actually dating Nargis Fakhri?
Reports have suggested otherwise but even the mere possibility of it makes us men feel worthless. We need to get to the bottom of this and if it’s just a rumour spread by someone that person ought to be punished. If it’s not a rumour lets pray to God to give us men the strength to get over it.
5) Is there any participant in ‘Indian Idol’ who had a happy childhood?
Indian Idol participants always seem to be the people who if not for ‘Indian Idol’ might have definitely featured in ‘Satyamev Jayate’. But why is it that people who had happy childhoods never make it there. The nation seeks answers.
6) Why does she not accept my friend request?
Its perplexing. I am decent boy. I join fb groups of pornstars and sex clubs in various cities because I fun loving. I ask sex only after girl accept friend request. Still women don’t accept my request. Are today’s women sluts? The nation wants to know.
7) Do these phone numbers in public toilets actually work?
Almost everywhere in the country we see telephones numbers scribbled in public toilets advertising services of the pleasurable kind. The nation wants to know are they genuine or is it a trap.
8) Yeh Melody itni chocolaty kyu hain?
Arre bhai, melody khao khud jan jao – Eat a melody and know for yourself.
9) How do Indians manage to change accents in front of white people?
This amazing ability to pick up an accent as soon as we pass through an airport is an ability which excludes a lot of races. Tonight on the show we would like to find answers to the underlying mystery which allows us to do this.
10) Hum Chlormint kyu khate hai?
Answers to this question have been lacking and whenever someone tries to find answers, he has been silenced in very violent ways. But through this channel we will continue to seek answers, no matter what the provocation because the nation deserves to know.
11) Is there a picture available of this guy and how much money has this guy earned till now ?
Gupt Rog Visheshagya (Secret Disease Specialist) Dr Bangali has been around for quite a while and his name adorns a lot of walls in the northern parts of India. No one has ever seen his picture. Is this one guy or a group of guys who use the same code name. Or is it a woman ? The nation needs to know.